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Why Men Send D*ck Pics


I’m a dick pic retiree.

Yes. It’s true.

It’s been a long time since I’ve sent my kong dong through your local love lady’s ethernet. This is mostly because I’m nice & settled now and it’s typically frowned upon to send other women your dick in that situation. But it’s also because my dick simply takes up too much memory when you save the photo.

Think gigabytes. *straight face*

That’s right. I’m working with a gawd damn monster here. Hell, after I take a piss, I gotta put my dick up like an extension cord. I just wrap that MFer around my elbow and arm a couple times then stuff it back into my boxers. No big deal. All routine.

But that’s all beside the point. The reason you are even reading this is because you are probably curious as to why men send their dick to women’s inboxes in the first damn place. For the life of you, you can’t understand why a man would out of the blue send his penis to you for you to analyze and critique and most likely make fun of with your ratchet circle of friends while yall do the THOT laugh (You know, it’s when you stick your tongue out while you laugh).

If he only knew that you screenshotted his weiner, shared it via group conversation with your homegirls, and chuckled at the size of it as you all took turns sharing all the miniature things bigger than his dick like fun-sized Butterfingers, microwaved Vienna sausages, and your abnormally long middle toe – he never would have sent his shriveled up, powderless Cheeto in the first fucking place.

Some men know this, but don’t care. Either that or they are seriously delusional and truly believe their dick is fucking superb (like me). Regardless of what a man’s feelings are on the matter, the reason he sends his dick is because his dick is a quasi-measuring stick for how far he thinks he can go with you.

Most men believe that a woman that completely rejects a dick pic is not worth wasting time over because he has to do too much work to reveal the rest of himself like if he’s employed, does have his own place, and does he like to piss on women to the sounds of R Kelly playing in the distance. On the contrary, if a woman happens to respond favorably to an unsolicited image of his dingaling, chances of him shooting his shot and scoring go waaay the fuck up.

To put it simply: Men send their dicks to your inbox to see how hard they have to work for your pussy. That’s it.

The common belief is that women always turn down these kinds of pics so it’s pretty pointless for a man to attempt it. And I’m here to say that’s far from the truth. There are women out there that do enjoy looking at these dicks. If there weren’t a sizable amount of these kind of women out there, men wouldn’t do it in the first place.

Where men go wrong is that they don’t properly vet the relationship they have with said woman to know when it’s the right time.  Because trust me when I say this, 99% of women wouldn’t mind looking at your dick IF they knew you well enough. Instead, you got fools they never seen before sending their bumpy Nestle Crunch dick directly to their DM – and there’s no context to the relationship whatsoever.

The nigga posted a comment on Facebook, you made the mistake of liking it, so now he “wrongfully” assumes you wanna sprinkle your pussy on him like the Harold’s Chicken fairy seasoning a chicken. Next thing you know, he’s in your inbox ready to share the same pic he’s shared with 43 other women. He’s shared the shit so much that you can practically get his Herpes by simply responding to it. Ew!


So that’s why men do it, to gauge the effort they have to spend with you. Your response determines how long it is before he moves on or attempts to go in for the kill. His dick is practically a line in the sand. And he wants to see if you’re going to cross it – even if the girth is actually a literal line.


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About Halsted Jones

I’m a #Writer not a fighter ■ Joyously kicking down pillow forts on my quest to do the write thing.

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  • Jacqueline Thompson

    Nicely written brother.