I’m a damn good writer. Really. I am. I don’t normally toot my own horn. I typically let the followers of my work hop on my dick and whisper sweet nothings about how awesome I am in my ear. But for the sake of this writing, I gotta claim my shit – and damn it, I am skilled as fuck at what I do.
Despite the fact that I am talented when it comes to this writing shit, I tend to think my ceiling is limited on how far I can take this thing. It’s not that I don’t think I am talented enough to reach the level of success I’d like to be at – which I envision as a loaded bank account and an endless supply of titties. It’s just that a lot of opportunity stems from who you know in the industry. And quite frankly, I tend to make enemies as quickly as I make friends. Sad – but true.
You see, since I started writing for serious, I have met a lot of people with varying levels of pluggedness in the writing game. Some people have been big time stars in their own right commanding armies of ass-kissers and potential blowjobs. And some have been people new to the game looking to locate the next talented MFer that they can ride to the top like some circus dolphin named Bonkers.
For some of these people, I was that circus dolphin.
And you would think after a few years of meeting some of these people, I’d be closer to my vision of millions of dollars and millions of titties, but instead, I’m still pretty much in the same place I’ve been all these years. That’s because I have never wavered from my perspective nor proclaimed to believe something because everyone was thinking it. I have never opted to take advantage of the thought processes of the majority like a lot of these bloggers do.
I stayed honest to my truth.
You have to understand, being a person of color, in this day and age, on social media, there tends to be an undercurrent of popular belief when it comes to all sorts of shit – particularly race relations. And while many people have legitimate concerns, the very nature of Facebook and Twitter and Instagram causes many issues to become more like fads and trends than actual points of view.
Simply voicing an opinion that differs from the general consensus can lead to a backlash, so a lot of people just roll with the crowd. But that’s where my problem arises – I simply don’t give a fuck what everyone thinks. I stay true to my beliefs. That usually irritates people – especially since I’m good at arguing my point.
While everyone else is jumping on the bandwagon and boycotting the NFL or attempting to participate in some other faux cause, I’m doing my own thing and being highly vocal about the shit. As a result, those plugged in people that were fans of my work begin to distance themselves and I end up back to square one waiting for the next dolphin-rider to come along and recruit me for their circus.
I suppose I could play the role and simply ride with whatever the crowd says. I would be popular as fuck if I did. I’d have billions of friends. I’d have at my helm a sea of titties I could dive into like Scrooge McDuck, but fuck all that. I wouldn’t be me.. I wouldn’t be happy if I did either. I’d feel weird. I’d feel like a pair of dirty socks soaking in a bowl of uncleaned chittlins. I just wouldn’t feel right.
So. I’ll just continue to be me in hopes it inspires other people to think their thoughts and not fall for the temptation of groupthink. I may be sacrificing future success in this writing thing by doing so. But fuck it. Contrary to popular belief, my happiness is not for sale.