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Observations

The Thing Titties and Happiness Have In Common

I am uberly proud to proclaim I reached an epiphany. It was an important realization as I continue my arduous journey through life before I hopefully age gracefully and ultimately kick the big bucket in the sky and become maggot food. It’s important because it will now allow me to …

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First World Problems: Be happy your iPhone is ONLY $1,000

  Money itself has no value. It comes in various forms. Paper. Coins. A number in digital form on a computer screen that can be reassigned to some magnetic strip on a debit card or credit card or *gulp* EBT card. And I know what you’re thinking: “If money doesn’t …

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First Name: K E N N E K A Last Name: J E N K I N S

Kenneka Jenkins. Young. Beautiful. BLACK. Dead in a freezer. How in the hell did she get there? Nobody knows apparently. The conclusion given by Rosemont police (a very white suburb of Chicago) was that she got so wasted, she unintentionally committed suicide by locking herself in a large industrial freezer …

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Contrary To Popular Belief

I’m a damn good writer. Really. I am. I don’t normally toot my own horn. I typically let the followers of my work hop on my dick and whisper sweet nothings about how awesome I am in my ear. But for the sake of this writing, I gotta claim my …

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Why I Hate Punk Ass Spiders

So. You probably often see my commentary about those eight-legged fuckers called spiders. And people have naturally wondered how I came to loathe the creatures to the point of wanting to set fire to property I own just to kill them. Well, you don’t have to wonder anymore, I decided …

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I Love Me Enough For The Both of Us (Official Excerpt)

I chuckle about it now. Looking hindsight, it was quite ridiculous to an adult how we courted back then as kids. But for us, it was the way of things. You see someone you like. You send your friend on over as your unofficial representative to your unsuspecting love interest. …

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Ezekiel 18:20 – Don’t Blame Every Church For Joel Osteen’s Actions

Look. I didn’t want to give this dude any more media attention than he’s been already getting. He already makes so much money off of his congregation that he could put a town of strippers through school with one Sunday’s tithe. And quite frankly, I need not contribute to any …

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Harvey Does Houston: The Internet Loves Tragedy Porn

This morning as I sat at my desk, my privileged ass sipped on hot coffee and enjoyed a hot breakfast and watched intently as a reporter interviewed a woman that just arrived in a shelter after spending days in misery trying to survive in the flooded aftermath of Hurricane Harvey.” …

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Money Mayweather Does NOT Represent Me

  In 2002, Floyd Mayweather Jr. smashed the jaw of his daughter’s mother with a car door, then shoved her inside. Mayweather, a professional athlete, boxer no less, landed several hard ass punches to her face. For his bitchassness, Floyd was convicted of two counts of domestic violence. He got …

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Why Men Send D*ck Pics

  I’m a dick pic retiree. Yes. It’s true. It’s been a long time since I’ve sent my kong dong through your local love lady’s ethernet. This is mostly because I’m nice & settled now and it’s typically frowned upon to send other women your dick in that situation. But …

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